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How to Start Letting Go

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What do you get when you try to force yourself to relax? Well, the opposite of relaxation. I’ve practiced meditation consistently for two-plus years now because I thought I needed to relax (and I definitely did). So I started out just sitting there trying to reduce my habitual thinking – to not think – but the harder I tried the more I thought and the tighter I got. I tried some guided meditations but mostly I was just lost in the guide’s words. ​

Read on to learn how to start the process of letting go and get more information on how to access my recent webinar on pain that crushed last week!

I was the “hurry up and relax” guy trying to force my mind to chill out. If you aren’t like that, I am happy for you, but unfortunately I think many of us have not been programmed that way. 

So as I continued meditating I grew frustrated and kind of gave up trying to ‘not think’. I just stopped forcing it and sat there with my thoughts. Not trying making them go away or change them into something else just acknowledging them. 

And that’s when I noticed this initially subtle experience of having more space – an expansion of time between thoughts and more space between a stimulus and my automatic response. An openness. Like a cat on a windowsill – alert but not edgy.
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When I ‘let go’ that’s when I actually got the most out of it. And the relaxation? It took care of itself. I gave my nervous system some space to let it find a new path and re-organize. Of course, this is a lifelong practice so do not misconstrue me as the second coming of Thich Nhat Hanh. 

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My father trying his hand at meditating. Check out that aura

So what am I saying here?

You can’t just force things.

Because our body systems are non-linear, we don’t have an “if I meditate for 15 minutes I will be x times more relaxed” response. We are dynamic and organize ourselves around constraints, or barriers. A narrow river with lots of rocks is going to move very differently than one that is wide with a muddy bank. 

If you give yourself, a system, not enough room to play with – a “do it only this way” mindset – you will not create space for new experiences and behaviors to emerge. 

Practice letting go:
Lay on your back with your legs supported and tune into your breathing pattern without trying to change it. Practice each exhale as a mini “let go”. Letting go of physical tension, future concerns, and past fixations.
Each breath is a chance to create space and allow new behaviors to emerge. Do this for 10 minutes in a quiet room without external distraction. 

The only thing a ‘hurry up and relax’ mindset will get you is more of the same.

Just let go.

“All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.”
​-Blaise Pascal

​Did you miss my live webinar last week on Understanding & Healing Pain?

We had an excellent turnout: talked pain, perceptions, and the nature of changing one’s reality (yep I went there). There were many excellent questions as well…which you can hear my answers to in the on-demand recording of the webinar!

Get full access to the 90+ minute live course that you can watch whenevs, all the materials, and earn continuing education credits (if that’s your thing). All for less than $40 and on your own time.

– Seth